many years I struggled to overcome depression, anxiety, stress,
relationships problems, and panic with the help of a therapist,
medication, hospitalization and groups.
I know that many have been helped
in a very positive way with these treatments. Speaking only for myself, the one
thing that gave me any measure of relief and help (not cure) was a self help
group that in time I became a facilitator for. For a short time I was happy to
live with the idea that if I diligently practiced using all the tools that had
been given me I would be able to function on a daily basis even with my mental
illness. Being a nervous patient the rest of my life was ok with me as long as I
could control my symptoms. All of this was relief, relief, relief, and I am to
this day very grateful.
One day it came to me that this
nervous patient mentality could not continue, the belief that I had a mental
illness was giving me license to stay sick--an excuse--and that I was choosing
to render myself injured. What really happened was, I finally lost my patience
over being a patient, and that's when I started getting well.
Through trial and error, with no
one to bounce off of as I went along, I found a spark of life within myself that
allowed me to keep on fighting. In this blind and groping way, going with what
worked and discarding what didn't, I lifted myself from a lifelong depression
and all its many symptoms. I learned, by many different approaches, to train my
mind and thoughts to choke the life out of the sadness and the symptoms, one
small victory at a time. I also came to the realization that everyone I had met
with similar problems had one thing in common: lack of self-love and problems
with relationships, family, friends, professional relationships, or romantic partnerships. I had to develop
a way to love myself.
I celebrated my success in
obtaining good mental health by deciding to share what I have learned, thus
becoming a personal life coach.
This journey involves defeating
the incredibly powerful force of resistance to the everyday pleasures of being
alive that is the hallmark of our disease; this strange, constricting fear of
ordinary joy, something so modest and yet so difficult for people like us to
experience. So great is our fear of joy that every time it appears in our lives
we quickly shut the door in its face.
Believe me, this is one illness
that does not get better by pampering it. It is like a snake that coils around
your neck and chokes the very joy of life out of you. It is vicious by nature
and that is why you can't get well by describing your symptoms, over and over,
year after year to anyone that is kind enough to listen. The cure requires some
very basic changes in behavior and thoughts.........no easy task!!
The path that I learned to travel
may at first sound too elementary and easy, but I assure you it is more work
than perhaps you have ever done in your life. It also takes a real blind leap of
faith. You cannot afford to question the way to a symptom free life, to question
it is to destroy it. This is where my job begins
I use my therapist skills as a
coach. I don't use clinical terms like patient. I don't treat, I train. The
difference is, I train with the full knowledge of the underlying sadness that is
so profound it defies your powers of description. I know what it is to walk in
your shoes and to keep company with your demons. Remember, I have experienced
the nervous disorders, and the pain you are in. I also know that you can get rid
of your pain by taking action in spite of your discomfort.
You grow from the discomfort of
that stretch. Personal trainers motivate their clients through the pain of
training their bodies. I do the same in the training of my clients thoughts and
attitudes. I help train you to trust your judgment and body to do the right
thing for you. You will learn that your inner mind accepts everything at face
value and that it is possible to lie to your inner mind, the inner mind will
then play on the lies and act out the drama of fear and illness.
Because of the persistence of this
disease, conquering it requires patient repetition, carefully supervised, before
old, automatic responses can be changed. I am a gentle taskmaster, but I will
insist on certain things. Discomfort is a guarantee---no pain, no gain, and all
that--but you will be greatly rewarded.
I am ready for your powerful
resistance to good things. I will keep you from slamming the door in the face of
joy. I will guide you throughout the inevitable setbacks and prevent you from
beating yourself up when they happen. I will show you how you have no control
over the setback, but how you
do have control over the duration. I will keep you aware of any false
sense of well being, so that when the air is taken from your balloon, and it
will be, you won't land too hard. I work hard to turn your thinking and
attitudes around, until you start seeing your problems as gifts and lessons, not
I keep the focus on your
accomplishments, big and small, (they are all big) which people like us have
difficulty recognizing. I protect them from being disparaged, ignored,
minimized, forgotten--all the ways people like us trash our own essential
goodness---the very thing that will get us well (self-love). I will guard these
like a junkyard dog. I coach through one success at a time, one setback at a
time, pursuing a series of winnable goals, until one day you will feel a great
emotional balance. We can change the chemistry in our brain by changing our
attitude and actions.
This method worked for me and has
worked for countless others, I don't see any reason why it shouldn't work for
you if you are willing to take that blind leap of faith and work very, very
hard. Coaching is my gift and my passion. Hence, I have experienced much
success and fulfillment, while joining my clients on their journey
to a more balanced and quality life.